Robbery in broad daylight

In case you were worried, we did make it off the train at Geilo on Friday night. Yay. Well installed in our favorite sofa at The Ski Bar (just below the giant moose with the fascinatingly enormous nostrils), we realized that we were about to be ROBBED this weekend. I have had some expensive champagne in my time, but paying 35 USD for a glass of champagne? As much as I do love champagne, I have a limit. One that I am, of course, willing to cross if pushed, but still. Does this hotel get their supplies hand-delivered by Santa Claus and his reindeer on a sleigh? One bottle - or maybe ONE GLASS at a time - straight from Frrrrraaaance?

Fortunately, I do not stay angry that long. Of course, I had a glass of champagne. There is something special about Dr. Holms Hotel. Maybe because I am a hopeless romantic that loves old things (I guess that includes you, Honey!). Perhaps it is the great food (especially the Friday night buffet), or the very particular atmosphere. Seeing all the old photos of people conquering the elements on their wooden skis. All the old skiing paraphernalia and other bric-a-brac on the walls. The fireplace. And - maybe - in spite of all the dead animals staring down at you from the walls everywhere. We have been coming to this place since we could first afford it. And - although it hurts financially - we keep coming back.

Ok. Norway has breath-taking nature.

Love-birds?

One very entertaining highlight is the Saturday "apres ski" at The Ski Bar. Here you get to watch the face-off between the well-off Oslo "Wives*" competing against the perhaps even more well-off (at least it is OLDER MONEY) Bergen "Wives"*. Over who wears the most jewelry while skiing (pearl earrings are a staple). Or who has the cutest skiing outfit. Which might not have been used skiing at all. Were you aware of the fact that CHANEL makes ski goggles? This is the place to sport them. You need to be present at around 2 PM to get one of the best "see-and-be-seen" spots. Does not allow for a lot of time skiing, no. Yours truly got back from the slopes at 2.30 PM and got the very last sofa (ideal spot if you focus on the "see" part), the only one without a moose. I was very soon surrounded by a whole group of "new best friends". Not wanting to engage in conversation with strangers, I kept staring into my newspaper and drinking my first "lumumba"** of 2011. Waiting for my lovely husband to get off the mountain and buy me some bubbly.

"Boo. I am such a scary-looking old musk. I might dribble in your champagne, so finish it quickly."

Although we had a great weekend. I regret to say that I do not know if we will be coming back to stay again. Apart from the after ski on Saturdays, the hotel seems to be more and more deserted every year. No wonder, really. Last year we SAVED money by FLYING TO AUSTRIA and staying at an amazing hotel there. ONE THAT EVEN PROVIDES ITS GUEST WITH HAIR CONDITIONER!! Can you imagine? Sorry. It is just that my hair still looks like s*** after two nights in this place without any proper hair products. I should have a little chat with the manager. (Has to be a man. Hello? No hair conditioner! And an antique hairdryer that makes even my very limp Scandinavian hair look like a frizzy AFRO! Gah.) I will be happy to tell him about a secret dark place where he can put at least one of his four hotel rating stars. A hint: It might hurt sitting down afterwards. Especially since I suspect that he has his head partly up that dark hole already. I hate seeing this place getting ruined. But with as few guests as seen this weekend, I worry about it's future existence. I guess the strategy for the time being is screwing the few guests left over, until they disappear as well. Well done.

* These are mostly so-called "kept" women. Being a "Wife" is their profession. Although many of them might have an education, they have never bothered to work (must NOT be confused with HOUSE-wives who I truly respect). These simply married well. Instead of whining about problems at work or an impossible boss, they spend hours in the restrooms badmouthing the children from current husband's first or second marriage. And - of course - the poor husband. While trying to fix their hair / arrange their indoor (?) fur hats / skiing goggles in a totally casual, yet chic manner. There is no line to use the actual toilets, ohno, here everyone queues up to get to the MIRROR. Image surely is EVERYTHING.

** Hot chocolate with a splash of rum. Works wonders. Should be given to shy people on prescription.