Saturday (k)night

My brand new Swedish wooden clogs. Intended as gardening shoes, but they need some serious breaking in before that is even remotely possible. They look cool, though. Very much in line with the bohemian / seventies look I will be tuning into this summer.

Mr. Incredible turns out to be even more incredible than I thought. He has hidden talents. I might have made fun of him in the past for not being very "handy", but now I will soon have to eat my own words. Yesterday, he fixed the upstairs toilet that did not flush. In other words, I have an in-house "plombier"! Awesome!

And, he has talents as a knight as well. Saving damsels in distress. If you consider being scared shitless to be "in distress". Might be a bit of an understatement. Or me to be a "damsel" for that matter.

Nevertheless, tonight we had a bit of an incident after dinner. I must first point out that I am not a blood-thirsty killer of any sort, but after being bitten by SIXTY mosquitoes last weekend, I decided I needed to put some restraints on the local insect welcoming comittee. I am not by any means meant to be their evening buffet. So. I bought this big mosquito-killer-lamp. With a radius covering 300 meters, no less. A very wise purchase, as the number of mosquito bites for yours truly has dropped by 97% from last weekend.

Anyway, we were lounging on our new outdoor sofa after dinner. When a huge bug appears. We are talking a MONSTER bug. It starts dancing around the lamp like it was a shrine of some sort. And, of course, the inevitable happens. It gets fried. We heard the regular "pop". And the thing falls to the floor. As Mr. I is very aware of my "issues" with most insects, especially when they hit a certain size, he instantly volunteered to remove the corpse. Meaning, he scraped it up with a piece of plastic, and threw it over the hedge. To the neighbor's garden.

Just for the record, he chose the neighbor with the hugest garden, the one with an Olympic standard swimming pool and a separate field for playing boule. And not the other guy with a garden equalling four tomato plants and two heads of lettuce.

So far, so good. Only, about ONE HOUR LATER, the creature suddenly comes back to life! It is rumbling (yes!) around inside the hedge, and suddenly it flies back onto our terrace, ending up on its back like some real-life version of Gregor Samsa*, crawling around on his back, not able to get on his feet. I instantly hid under my blanket.

Mr. I saw that he had to take immediate action. Cheering from under my blanket, I encouraged Mr. I to go for it, but NOT to use a shoe (getting bug-goo on shoes is a no-no**). Covering the monster in plastic, and then REPEATEDLY stepping on it seemed to do the trick. When Mr. I was finally 100% sure the thing had checked in at "Bug Heaven", over the hedge it went. Again.

And nobody has heard from him since.


* The guy turning into a huge roach in "The metamorphosis" by Franz Kafka. A book I wish I had never read. But I have. In German, even.


** I killed a huge flying ant in the upstairs bathroom last weekend. But as I did not want to get ant-goo on my flip-flop, I went downstairs to "borrow" Mr. I's flip-flop for the purpose. Worked wonders. Until, of course, I told him afterwards. Stupid.