My Pedro Garcia party shoes. Picked them up at the January sales during year-end reporting for the big oil company in Stavanger two years ago - at Rolfsen. Great shop. I must warn you - Stavanger is a very expensive, but nice, place to go shopping. These are shoes that should make every girl feel like a princess. Even though she's just another nerd in a frock. Well. Sometimes they work like that, and sometimes - they just DON'T.
As I had to get my hair cut for my upcoming vacation anyway, I figured I should get my hairdresser to do my hair for the office Christmas party while he was at it. Stuuuupid mistake. Don't get me wrong. I have THE BEST hairdresser, I really do. But I tend not to like my hair much when it is too "done". So my curly sixties-style back-combed thing did not do much for my self confidence, I will tell you that much. I actually wanted to CRY when I looked myself in the mirror, as it was not "me". At all. What a great way to start your evening!
As there was no time left to re-wash and blow-dry hair once I got home to get changed, I just had to cut my losses and go out in public looking like a freaky Marilyn Monroe wannabe. I "just" had to pick the right dress. Turned out to be a bit of a problem. Had four alternatives lined up when I left for work in the morning. I normally love all four of them, but as I did not look anything like myself with the stupid fluffy hair, I decided that they were either:
- Too boring (I am still recovering from the navy blue airport incident)
- Too pink
Three of them showed too much cleavage, while three showed off my nice and flappy bingo wings just perfectly. Great. So I went for the newest dress - purchased for new year's in St. Barths. The only one that hid the flaps, although being a bit too revealing in other areas. Great. Did not feel very comfortable. At all. But did not have the time to do anything about it.
So - what is a girl to do when she feels like S.H.I.T.? She tries to get by as well as she can. Generally, there are two options:
- Suffer through the evening and hope nobody notices
- Get far too drunk, far too early
I decided to go for the - obvious - FIRST option. If there is a party where you would like to try to stay decently sober and not make a complete ass of yourself, it is the office Christmas party. So, it is not that I did not have the right intentions upon arrival. Really, I don't know where it all went wrong, but somehow it did. Terribly. I guess I should have picked up the first sign when I shared a lobster tail rolled in a potato tortilla ("Heeeeey, læfsbuss!") with the gentleman sitting next to me. Lady-and-the-tramp style. Biting off each our end. REAL classy. Thinking about it still makes me cringe.
THAT was the exact time when a little green creature on my shoulder should have told me to get my ass home. Unfortunately, I do not know such a creature. Being very aware of this fact, my best male friend (excluding Mr. I) had volunteered in advance to send me a text message during the evening telling me to take it easy. He did. Bad thing I did not check my phone until 02.19 AM. By that time I guess I had been talking everyone's ears off/been generally obnoxious for hours already. And kept going at it for another hour or so. Niiice.
I am actually quite glad that I most probably will not have to go into the office again until late January. By that time I hope nobody will really remember. Or - I hope - even care.
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